I’ve got that Guilty Feeling
May 25th, 2007 | By Ian in Babies, Just Life ReallyI’ve started to notice over the past week or so that I’ve been feeling a little bit guilty that Mrs C is struggling along with pregnancy and, to all intents and purpose, I’m not.
Because we’re in this together, right? Well yes, but then again, in one fairly obvious way, no.
As much I can care and support Mrs C she’s the one that has someone growing inside her that kicks and wriggle and gets the hiccups.
Just recently Mrs C has started waking up in the early hours of the morning (5 o’clock today, 4 o’clock yesterday, 5 the day before…) and she’s become more and more tired as a result. And how it’s making me feel guilty about not being the one waking up.
The other night Mrs C woke up at 5 and put the light on and decided to read. Because I sleep like a ninja the sound of Mrs C turning the light on woke me up too.
“Do you want me to go downstairs?” She asked me.
My sleepy brain was screaming “Yes!” but I knew better “No, it’s alright.”
Since then she’s decided that getting out of bed and sitting in the oh so comfy chair is the way forward.
I know Mrs C and I aren’t alone in this. Mark from Life after Birth said he felt selfish when his partner gets up from bed and he just sleeps on.
And God, it’s not a nice feeling when you wake up and find the bed empty next to you.
“What time did you make it to tonight?”
“5. I’m very tired.”
Ouch. What can you do or say to that? “Take it easy today”? “Try and have a sleep at work”? “Maybe you should stay home”?
So I let guilt build up inside of me. I’ve noticed that, except for going to food shops, I don’t like going out and leaving her any more. I can’t remember the last time I went out on my bike and I haven’t been out with my friends for months.
I hope this guilt doesn’t turn to resentment because that would definitely be *a very bad thing*.
May 26th, 2007 at 7:25 pm | kristofer Said:
hehe.. The guilt will pass I guarantee it, take it from someone who has three, trust me there will be no more guilt. I was a stay at home dad for my first child, the first 6 months of his life. I was the one who stayed up all hours of the night and slept when he napped, believe me a few weeks a sleepless nights/days will make that feeling of guilt go away real quick. I still essentially take care of my one year old, my wife is a very sound sleeper and she won’t wake up if he cries, so it’s my job, there are nights where I lie down at midnight and he wakes up at 12:30, and is up for 3-4 hours, wants to play etc. Thankfully I think I have broken him of that now though. I could go on and on, but trust me on this one, this too shall pass!
May 27th, 2007 at 11:30 am | Ian Said:
Thanks for the comment Kristofer.
I’m hoping that the guilt will go, but I think it’s going to take the baby being born to do it.
If you would like to contribute to my I Wish I’d Known series I’d be pleased to hear your thoughts.
May 29th, 2007 at 3:04 am | kristofer Said:
I might think about it actually, the ones I’ve read so far are mostly positive, maybe I could shed more light on the negative aspects of it all… we’ll see, my time is scarce at the moment..